...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
