that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
