Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
