I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
