We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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