Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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