He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
