I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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