I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
