I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
