i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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