Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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