Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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