Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
