I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
