Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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