I wannas sexs uuuuu
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
