Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
