there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
