How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
