Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
