dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
