He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
