absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
