I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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