Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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