I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
