he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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