I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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