It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
