508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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