Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
