I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
