So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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