If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Someone signed my nipple.
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