Christians are straight up FREAKS
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
