last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
