Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
