Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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