Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
