am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
4 words: hood of his car
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
