i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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