remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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