i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
