Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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