dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
