Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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