but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
