every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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