Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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