That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
