Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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