Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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