I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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