If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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